This is a special edition. TripGourmets do not do restaurant reviews in general, it is not what our site is about. However, this is a kind of guest-post special exception – a review of Rouge et Noir, Troyes, a small local French restaurant.
Intro – why are we publishing a review of Rouge et Noir, Troyes?
We had some dear friends visiting from the UK a few weeks ago, and they had driven over to Switzerland through France, stopping overnight in the town of Troyes. Having eaten in one of the local restaurants, and been somewhat underwhelmed, our friend Olivier went back to his hotel room and wrote this extremely funny review of the place on TripAdvisor. We thought we would share it here for your enjoyment!
The Review – A Lovely… Car Crash
Once upon a time, three friends stayed in Troyes for the night. On our search for a place for dinner, we stumbled upon the “Rouge et Noir, Troyes“, and found the menu most attractive. So, in we go.
We ask a waiter if a table for 3 is available, knowing that 3 is always awkward in a restaurant as you have to give a table for 4 for 3 when 4 would be better. But I digress. A nice table is free outside, we feel most welcome. Good points for the friendly welcome.
The menu took a while but the place is manic on this bank holiday Thursday so we give it some slack (we are on holiday after all and we can’t possibly be in a rush to get anywhere).
After a short ponder, a decision was made: 2 snails, 1 cheese and mushroom salad for starters, boudin noir, andouillette and bavette for mains. Oh, and we will have a bottle of the local rosé wine to go with it.
Sorry, sir, we may have run out, but I will check for you.
Oh well, if it is gone, we will have the other rosé wine from the menu.
Local rosé wine available! Yippee! Thank you! Rosé wine served, lovely drop. Rosé wine gone, starters not there.
We’re on holiday, we’ll have another one.
Waiter please, can we have some more of that really nice local rosé wine?
More?? Sorry, sir, that was the last one.
Never mind, we’re not like that. We’ll have the other rosé wine then.
Thank you, sir. Certainly sir.
Minutes later, sorry sir, we have run out of that one as well.
Ok, still in holiday mode, never mind, we’ll have a red one, it will go nicely with the mains.
Well, we thought they weren’t ours, but they were. The waiter brought a couple of glass jars with a two-tone liquid in them. How quirky and intriguing, I hear you say. The mushroom and cheese salad arrives too. Looks fabulous. We are now torn between jealous and condescending but curiosity gets the better of us and we decide to investigate those intriguing glass jars.
Poke, poke, oh! A snail! Aha! That’s the idea. Skip the shell digging part and have them in the butter. Why not after all, though I do enjoy the shell digging and sucking the butter out of that said shell (call me old fashioned). Anyway, having stabbed one of the beasts, I obviously eat it (whoops, must’ve caught the rubber band that kept the snails together. Sneaky things they are).
Let’s have another (they do have to be kept in place, have another).
Third one, I give up. I claim victory to have tried a third one. One of the friends gave up after two. 1 point for me, nought for the friend. Though salad friend gets 10 points because hers was fantastic (we had a taste and were jealous).
Forgot about the red wine: Mercurey, really nice wine. A slow drinking one that will go really well with the mains.
Salad finished, really nice thank you.
The snails? Sorry, they were not good at all. Tough and just not edible.
Ok, sir. Starters cleared.
Chat, chat, chat, mains arrive. Thank you, young man (different waiter). We have high hopes for this, the snails were awful.
Ever so sorry sir, I’ll take them off the bill.
Oh, ok, thanks!
Fabulous is an understatement. The andouillette was crispy on the outside and so tender inside. The black pudding was one of the tastiest, and the bavette was cooked to perfection.
Oh, can we have another Mercurey please (the red wine had somehow been finished)?
Of course sir. Moments later, sorry sir, we have run out of it. Would you like to choose another one?
Err, no thanks, we’ve mixed enough. We’ll take our time finishing our glasses.
Mains eaten, can’t compliment those enough. No desserts thanks, we’ll just have 2 decaf coffees, an Armagnac and 2 Marc de champagne.
Sorry, sir, we happen to have run out of Armagnac.
(Slight grumble) have you got a cognac? Any cognac, I’m not too fussy anymore.
Digestifs arrive and are consumed over a good 30 minutes. Eventually, sorry young man, we had 2 decaf coffees as well?
Ok… oh, while you are there, another cognac and a Marc de champagne.
Coffees and drinks arrive, thank you, and we will have 2 more decafs and the bill. Handsome tip.
Lovely walk back to the hotel, and good night everyone, see you at breakfast.
Hum, I am now wondering if those decafs were decafs. It is now 3 am, and I still am like a puppy on speed, writing a TripAdvisor review.
Now I have to say, the staff were really friendly, and I will blame the management for the worst stock control ever (hence the lovely car crash title). You’re a restaurant and yes, it can happen one runs out of something, but three wines? Two of them being the only two rosé wine on the menu?
And an Armagnac?
How does that work?
In saying that, the staff should know what is in, and if they had said from the start that they only had one bottle of the two rosé wines and that the red we had chosen, well, that there was only one of them too, we would have chosen something else. It’s not like we’re not flexible.
So I have to say, sorry. Err no, I’m not sorry.
I shan’t go there again. The only recommendation I would have is yes, the food was great, but don’t have the things that you know could go wrong, and if you intend to have more than one bottle of anything, wine, digestif, and dare I say even water, check if the stock is there so that you don’t end up redesigning your dinner all together. The staff was lovely and friendly but the management needs to get their act together. Rouge et noir… shall we say “Deux points”?
A big thank you to our dear friend Olivier Wright for his review of Rouge et Noir, Troyes. All words are his, we only jazzed it up with some pictures and gifs for the blog. If you have any funny restaurant experiences to share, we would love to hear from you. Leave a comment below!